News
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WHY not to say…
You might have heard what not to say but we’d like to explain a little more about why not to say some things that are often used as words of sympathy.,,
Remember you don’t have to have the right words. The responsibility to “solve the problem” or “cure” your friend or loved one doesn’t rest with you. Your role is not to heal them, but to support them while they heal.
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Pregnancy loss and body image
I have heard that one way to gain a healthy body image is to reframe your attitude towards your body to focus on how well it works, how strong it is, how lucky I am to be able-bodied etc. But that was a huge struggle when my baby died inside this body. I didn’t have faith in it to do its job anymore. -
“Do you think she's pregnant?”
Commenting and speculating on a woman’s body, trying to guess her pregnancy status, evaluating her appearance and passing public comment is like pouring lemon juice over her fresh wounds. It’s cruel, it’s unnecessary and hateful. -
Grief over time
Pregnancy and baby loss has been taboo for so long it was just not been spoken about. It is not treated like the death of a person who people would... -
Toxic Positivity
It is hard to resist the impulse to find a silver lining in someone else’s painful experience. We don’t want to see our loved ones suffer. We want to see them happy. But denying reality doesn’t change it. Telling someone they should happy will not make them happy. -
New Year, New Grief?
The New Year is just one more day. It is only one day longer in the grieving and healing journey. Time may be a factor in healing but one day, no matter which day it is, is not long enough for anything to change. -
Bereaved Parents Christmas Survival Guide
For anyone who has had a bereavement this year, Christmas will have a new meaning, the first Christmas without their loved one. For someone who lost a pregnancy, or whose baby or child died, it is the Christmas of what should have been. -
Children and Grief
To mark Childhood Grief Awareness Day., we have published this exclusive extract from The Vilomah Pregnancy Loss Journal on helping children when you are both grieving. -
Understanding your Grief
In the beginning most of our time is spent in the loss-oriented zone, only leaving for essential activities when triggered by stressors. As time goes on, the desired outcome is that the ratio of time spent in each zone moves along a scale in favour of the restorative zone.
This blog is an excerpt from The Pregnancy Loss Journal available from Vilomah.ie in November 2021.
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Significant days - Back to school
The return to school can be a significant day overlooked by many and not noticed how difficult it can be for a bereaved parent. Finding a way to face these significant dates or creating a way to acknowledge it that you feel comfortable with can help. -
Loss changes you, Grief take time
We are ever evolving as people, every new experience changes us. It's the same when you experience a loss, no matter the loss it changes you. Lett... -
You'll always be my favourite what if
The uncertainty of not knowing can be the hardest part on ongoing grief. It can catch you by surprise as your mind melts to how old your child is and what stage of life they may be at.
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