You might have heard what not to say but we’d like to explain a little more about why not to say some things that are often used as words of sympathy.,,
Remember you don’t have to have the right words. The responsibility to “solve the problem” or “cure” your friend or loved one doesn’t rest with you. Your role is not to heal them, but to support them while they heal.
I have heard that one way to gain a healthy body image is to reframe your attitude towards your body to focus on how well it works, how strong it is, how lucky I am to be able-bodied etc. But that was a huge struggle when my baby died inside this body. I didn’t have faith in it to do its job anymore.
In the beginning most of our time is spent in the loss-oriented zone, only leaving for essential activities when triggered by stressors. As time goes on, the desired outcome is that the ratio of time spent in each zone moves along a scale in favour of the restorative zone.
This blog is an excerpt from The Pregnancy Loss Journal available from Vilomah.ie in November 2021.