I have heard that one way to gain a healthy body image is to reframe your attitude towards your body to focus on how well it works, how strong it is, how lucky I am to be able-bodied etc. But that was a huge struggle when my baby died inside this body. I didn’t have faith in it to do its job anymore.
The return to school can be a significant day overlooked by many and not noticed how difficult it can be for a bereaved parent. Finding a way to face these significant dates or creating a way to acknowledge it that you feel comfortable with can help.
No matter when, or how your loss happens, whether it be at 4 weeks or 4 months, whether it was a total shock or a heart breaking decision, that heartache and pain is real and justified.
All these ups and downs are completely natural and a normal reaction and one you have very little control over. Fighting, avoiding, or denying your emotions prevents processing them, delays your healing and depletes your mental resources. Not only is it necessary to allow yourself to experience these really tough days,it is often actually easier to ride the wave of grief than fight against it.
When we went looking at possible names the one word that we kept coming back to was Vilomah. For us there was no other name that we could use to describe us and the work we hope to do.
I always wished for a word that didn’t give the image of constant sadness, one that would describe me being a bereaved mother without using that term. I think the word Vilomah is beautiful. Vilomah is a Sanskrit word which on translation means “in reverse” “against a natural order”.