The reality of grief and emotions

When you experience a loss in pregnancy or shortly after birth you are thrown into a brand new world of grieving and loss. When you first take that pregnancy test this is not what you had pictured life would look like. 

You may be feeling physically unwell or sore after pregnancy. Whether you had been pregnancy for a few weeks or a few months, hormonal changes along with changes to your body have an impact.

Grieving the loss of your pregnancy and baby can be overwhelming and these emotions certainly do not follow a pattern or set of rules. These feelings often ebb and flow and are uniquely to each person, there is no one way to grieve and certainly no right way to grieve. Every reaction is completely valid. 

Grieving the loss of your pregnancy or baby can at times feel like you are taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back. You may experience a few "good" days when you aren't feeling too bad and then suddenly you are hit with the tidal wave of  emotions and feel like you are once again drowning in your grief. This can be frustrating, you want to feel "better" but physically and emotionally you are regularly returning to acute feelings of grief. But don't despair.

All these ups and downs are completely natural and a normal reaction and one you have very little control over. Fighting, avoiding, or denying your emotions prevents processing them, delays your healing and depletes your mental resources. Not only is it necessary to allow yourself to experience these really tough days,it is often actually easier to ride the wave of grief than fight against it.

Grieving takes time, it is a journey which you have to get through, not something you get over.